so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
