Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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