I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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