happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
