Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
