My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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