Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
