We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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