two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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