I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
