I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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