First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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