BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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