so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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