my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
