i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
