Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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