i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
