I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
