I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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