rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I have post one night stand depression
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
