Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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