Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just google imaged poop.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize