even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
