I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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