Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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