totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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