An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize