I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
