please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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