Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I want to make a zoo with you.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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