Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
