I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
