So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
