I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
