Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
