Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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