I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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