is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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