He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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