I accidentally had phone sex last night
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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