Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
