..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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