There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
