We won't sleep together?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
