i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
