Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
