WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
