Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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