I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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