I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just gargled with NyQuil
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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