I'm drive I can fine osifer
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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