I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
