Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
