i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize