So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
