Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize